Dylan’s Blog

In english class we were brainstorming for some global issues that need taking care of. But some of the ideas were stupid, and most of them were, unsurprisingly, suggested by stupid people. Let’s take a look…

Sexual abuse

Although I agree that sexual abuse is not something we should encourage, that doesn’t really justify it being a global issue. The person who suggested this was (plot twist ahead) a woman! And that woman (second plot twist ahead) was a feminist! That’s great, honey, but just remember that women and men live in harmony, and men actually are put through more abuse then women these days. Mostly because women can now hide behind their gishey ‘old abuse’ invisible wall. But, I digress.

USA want to bomb the gish out of everybody

…heh, wow, I’m sorry, I do not know how to reply to that. Wow… maybe you should probobly consider that if they wanted to bomb everyone up, they probobly would have done it by now.

Illegal drug trading

*sigh* This only happens in about 3 or 4 countries I can think of on the top of my head, therefore, NOT GLOBAL ISSUE, RETARD! Yeah, I nearly shouted that out. I’m probobly just overeacting, but oh well.

Mosquitos

Your serious? Your gonna go up there and have a 5-minute-long speech about how much mosquitos suck? God, you’re stupid.

Clubbing seals

*pfft*HAHAHAHA! AHAHA! HAHA! Wow, that was just, um, wow. Yeah, clubbing seals suck. Too bad it’s only in a couple of states. Do you honestly think that the majority of the world is a couple of states? Look, I’ve had a big problem with these animal activists. The ones who hate it, can’t be bothered to stand up from their cheeto-stained couch to go sign a bloody petition. The ones who REALLY hate it, can’t be bothered to stand up from their cheeto-stained computer to go sign a bloody petition, and instead make chain-emails about it. But again, I digress.

Obesity

Somehow, when I heard this, I just imagined the person in front of one of those stereotypical angry mobs and shouting to them “Kill the fatties! We must clean the world of their Mcdonalds-filled lifestyle!” Being fat, in my opinion, is a way of life. Do you want to kill someone because of their way of life? You know who else did that? Hitler. Are you hitler? Thank god this one didn’t make it on the list due to only happening in a selected few countries.

People

While I think the basis of the priciple is wrong, he raises a moderately intellectual point; people do cause all the problems we talked about. There weren’t any global issues about one fish killing the rest of another fish, it’s always one country always killing the rest of another fish/whale(I’m looking at you, Japan)/human/tree/monkey/celebrity/video game/gas/atmosphere/species/item/historical monument/elephant/(eventually)planet/hard drive(LEAVE WINDOWS ALOOOONE!)/virus/desease/panda/seal/culture/statistic/country/state/women/black person/freak/teacher/mindless rambler. Only when the last tree has died, the last river dried, and the last animal killed will we realise we cannot eat money.

I’m not sure why, but most of the people in my class are complete retards. (with all due respect, of course) I’m going to spare you most of the trauma my everyday life insues in, and instead just share a couple of things I have a problem with.

PROBLEM 1. SKINNIES

Look, if I may quote Harrison here “Skinnies are designed for girls and some boys.” I completely agree with this point. In case you don’t know what skinnies are (nope, no smart comments on THIS end) they are ultra-tight jeans that even Paris Hilton would frown upon. Guys are going around wearing skinnies because one guy I know looks good in skinnies. It looks awful on most boys, so I would try before you buy if you’re a boy. (continued »)

Because I absolutely adore exploration games, I have been gone on a Exploration freeware safari. I have a few tips to give people to rate a good exploration game and a bad one. (continued »)