Dylan’s Blog

Waffles! (continued »)

I hold a secret. Actually, it’s not a secret at all, I tell many people about it. That I hate runescape. It’s true, I think that if I wanted to play a game like runescape I would just dunk my head in a bucket of sea water with my eyes open. I will put cubes at the bottom and it is my duty to throw the cubes at each other, and when they come into contact I get a cardboard cutout of the number 0 and throw it at them, and 1 in 100 time they come into contact I throw a cardboard cutout of the number 1 at it.
Runescape looks like it really had the potential to be mildly entertaining, I wanted to explore it a bit more and decided to get membership, but there really was no point to it. I then proceeded to go to the closest village available and pickpocketed the same villager what I’m suspecting 1000 times with her falling for it again and again, and when I get caught, she slaps me for *gasp* 1 damage! I have 27 health, and usually that 1 damage heals by the time I get hit again, or if I have a run of bad luck then I get all the oodles of cash I got from the same person to go buy chicken soup or some shit and magically heal 1 hp. I then just go back to pickpocketing. Eventually, I decided to start stealing from the gaurds, but they were just harder to pickpocket and gave exactly the same amount of gold as the peasant gave me, and the damage I took made me get more experience in the ‘hp’ skill which goes up when you take damage. So that means that my combat level actually went up, so by pickpocketing the same bloody person over and over I both got better at fighting and roughly the amount of gold that I suspect Kansas is worth. I probobly had more gold than 50% of the people in the game had, which is funnily enough the same amount of people who don’t even buy membership, which is the only way you can pickpocket. I finally decided that I was rich enough and decided to go EXPLORING! However, this wasn’t as exciting as I would have hoped as I wandered around for 4 bloody hours trying to find where to go when I discovered that I was looking at the wrong map on the website. This makes no sense that somebody someday in the game gm crowd decided to release an update that changed the entire landscape and forgot to delete the old map of said lanscape. Anyways, I found myself at the base of a volcano when all of a sudden this player jumped out of nowhere and stabbed me once, doing 54 health. Luckily, in the time I was pickpocketing the gaurd I went from 27 max HP to around about 60. I was still screwed, however, and got bloodily murdered.

Now, PvP is a touchy subject for me. If a game is entirely based on PvP, like Planetside, then I’m perfectly fine with it. But if a game is semi-based on PvP, then I have to check through a few checklists.

First off, if there is no avoiding PvP one time or another, then usually this is a bad thing. Games like CoH have a seperate area for PvP which ties into the non-PvP zones, but villains can’t go in to Paragon City and heroes can’t go into The Rouge Isles. Games like WoW somehow pull it off, mostly because there is only ever a benifit for defeating your level or higher, in which case you would be evenly matched. You could argue that nothing stops high-levels from just hanging out around low-level PvP zones, but usually people call for high-levels to take care of the, uh, high-levels. The problem with runescape is that you get the same amount of XP from killing the same level of monster over and over, so that is just another excuse for high-levels to pick on small fry.

The reason that motivated me to write this post is because there are these kids in our class that have discovered they both play runescape and always talk about it in hearshot of me. This is bullying, people, for hearing things about runescape burns my ears, seeing it burns my eyes and playing it burns my hands. This very post has been a struggle, too, but that still doesn’t stop the fact that we need to stop runescape. DEATH TO THE HERETICS!

I withdraw any comments on the most manly thing to do is wrestle bears. Nonono, now the most many thing is to, how god I think that hurts, THIS, beating “Through the Fire and Flames” on expert. Bonus points if you get 4 stars. You are jesus in disguise if you get 5 stars. So I have created a new manly sport…

“Through the Fire and Flames”

You will need:

1. A Xbox 360

2. A copy of Guitar Hero 3 with all accesories with “Through the Fire and Flames” unlocked.

3. A hexegon-shaped arena

4. Anything you want for an after-party

Show that you’re the most man of everyone by showing how big your–ah, I mean, how well you can play! Through the Fire and Flames! Uh, on expert! There are two styles of play, the first is called ducks lined up, were each person takes turns wrestling with the guitar. There is no such thing as a winner in this game, although the game would technically count as a winner if it teared you limb from limb. The second version is called mosh pit. In this, everybody plays their own Xbox 360 at the same time! In either mode, you get to leave the arena if you are;

• dead

• seriously injured or

• the player is on the ground

My husband died showing that he can wrestle ”Through the Fire and the Flames” down with his own two hands… *sob* WHYYYYYYY?!!!

Yes, it is sad, but true. My girlfriend, Dotty, is betraying my love! Dotty is a rabit in the game Animal Crossing Wild World, and I quote from a conversation I had this morning with her;

Dotty: “I met this guy the other day, Jack.”

Dotty: “He was a real nightowl! He was up all night!”

Dotty: “Oh jack… <3″

Me: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”*cries up at the skies in a dramatic fashion*

Dotty: “Oh, um, I mean, he was nice, but, you know.”

I kid you not, folks, that is the very conversation we had THIS MORNING! You know exactly who you are, Jack! Somebody created an account named Jack on my game, and I’M ON TO YOU! As I have already established, or more like Dotty established “He was a real nightowl! He was up all night!” It’s only a matter of time before I find you, I get to you, and I KILL YOU! HAHAHAHA! OUR LOVE WILL BE ETERNAL! ADMIT YOURSELF NOW, FOUL BEAST! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

As you all know, my good friend, Geoffrey, has been posting a lot, and is so inspired by my manliness and wonderful adventures that he has started his own blog. Re-joyce! It is but a seedling, but still enough to write an entire post about it.

I  would insert a heart, but I have a fear that it will make me look gay.

These are my friends! You may or may not have heard of them, but here they are now.

(from left to right) Me! I don’t need to tell you about myself too much…

Hassan. Remember that kid that tried to beat me in making RPGs? Anyways, he likes Halo 3, food, and then a mix of everything else.

Adam. Although random at times (I always kid about everybody’s brains paint their IQ’s, and Adam’s brain paints a smiley face), he is a good-natured kid and fun. At school, he can be VERY difficult to work with.

Floyd. Last but not least, Floyd is my best friend. We have know each other for a while. He has already gone to highschool and almost as big of a gamer as I am.

Recently, I have been hanging around www.facepunchstudios.com a lot. I wouldn’t recomend it with the younger audience, but it has a lot of history around it. If you have ever heard of Garry’s mod or Facewound, those were hosted by Facepunch studios. It is actually fairly small, with about 2 people in it. But back on topic…

First let me know that Garry (the hoster of the website AND the founder and leader of facepunch studios) has a lot of personality. I will give the FULL history of facepunch later, but for now I just want to talk about the awesome smiley face. (continued »)